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Post by dawn on Sept 1, 2022 9:23:19 GMT
I think I mentioned that my friend’s husband died unexpectedly in the beginning of June.
3 months later it seems like she is still avoiding the grief process.
Instead she has moved (to avoid their residence).
She got a different car (to avoid their car).
She has acquired 8 cats (she originally had 3).
She finds them on the street.
I tried to talk to her about it, but I pussyfooted with the conversation.
I basically said rescuing the cats is great but she should be finding new homes for them.
Should I now shut up and mind my own business?
I acted like I was glad she found another cat (#11) today, a starving cat that she immediately fed, but...
I feel like this is going to end in catastrophe.
(I’m not sorry for my 2 puns).
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pepe
I'm so glad that we at this board are special, not like other boards. You are all wonderful.
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Post by pepe on Sept 1, 2022 9:28:36 GMT
everyone grieves in their own way, maybe this is her way of keeping herself occupied to avoid facing reality.
i think if you find catshit and dead cats everywhere that may be an indication intervention is needed.
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Post by dawn on Sept 1, 2022 10:23:25 GMT
I was thinking about an intervention with our mutual friends.
She told me the other day that the cats are pushing her out of her king sized bed (along with the large dog she has).
I was thinking she’s trying to sabotage and avoid her bed.
I guess I’ll wait and see if bad stuff happens.
11 cats is a lot.
She says they don’t fight. 🤷♀️
I’m worried about vet bills, feeding bills, disease and neglect.
It’s nice to have friends. You can concern yourself with their life and not worry about your own.
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Post by dawn on Sept 1, 2022 10:27:52 GMT
I had this friend once, who turned out to be toxic so we had to go our separate ways.
Whenever something bad was happening in their life they would call me and tell me everything they thought was bad in my life. All the things I needed to fix.
I eventually recognized the pattern and would ask them “what’s wrong?”.
🤔is something bad happening in my life to make me overly concerned about my friend?
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Post by goblins on Sept 1, 2022 15:47:49 GMT
If they are all indoor only,
11 cats is a cry for help and
that comment is coming from a
cat lover.
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Post by moldman on Sept 1, 2022 17:21:40 GMT
If she has the resources, kudos to her. Animals need our help, this is one fucked up world. Hopefully they are all spayed or neutered or it's going to get really ugly really fast. And yes, she needs to find homes for all but two or three in my opinion.
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Post by dawn on Sept 1, 2022 18:30:10 GMT
She gets them spayed or neutered immediately. She is working with a rescue foundation to pay for that.
The kind where you rescue and rehome.
Ugh.
It really is not any of my business but deep down I know she is avoiding her grief process by helping cats.
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Post by moldman on Sept 1, 2022 18:49:08 GMT
She is probably staying busy doing good to keep her mind off of her grief. Nothing wrong with that in my opinion. I like the good that she is doing. Why sit at home and cry? Nothing will change, he will still be dead. I'm sure that he occupies her mind A LOT, in spite of the rescues.
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Post by madara on Sept 1, 2022 21:24:20 GMT
If grief helps cats then whats the harm apart from the obvious ? to me it's a preferable mechanism to say .. pills and scotch or gambling .
i remember my mother used real estate to distract herself , buying 2 while selling another and losing a lot in the process . she is in fact a type of cat herself as she had a fall tuesday and only bruised her 92 (or 91 ) year old hip . She did break 2 fingers however .
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Post by msdulittle on Sept 1, 2022 22:15:40 GMT
She is probably staying busy doing good to keep her mind off of her grief. Nothing wrong with that in my opinion. I like the good that she is doing. Why sit at home and cry? Nothing will change, he will still be dead. I'm sure that he occupies her mind A LOT, in spite of the rescues. I agree she needs to keep herself and mind occupied. I also agree with you about animals...they do need our help...so many cruel monsters in this world. |
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Post by figlet on Sept 1, 2022 23:13:50 GMT
Are there any restrictions on how many cats one household can have?
Where I live you have to apply for a license for 3 or more cats. The property gets inspected first.
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Post by goblins on Sept 1, 2022 23:57:20 GMT
She gets them spayed or neutered immediately. She is working with a rescue foundation to pay for that. The kind where you rescue and rehome. Ugh. It really is not any of my business but deep down I know she is avoiding her grief process by helping cats. Working with a rescue puts a whole different spin on things. She has someone to support her actions. |
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Post by lyn on Sept 2, 2022 7:17:27 GMT
11 cats OMG her home would stink. Can't imagine rescue/ stray's would be
house trained.
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Post by dawn on Sept 2, 2022 8:30:46 GMT
There are city ordinances about pets but out in the country you can have as many as you want as long as they are not abused or neglected.
I talked to one of our mutual friends. She has been to her house recently (at #9) and said it IS a problem, but the cats are healthy/vaxxed/fixed.
I told her about some of the comments on this thread and we both agree that in the big scheme of things it could be a lot worse.
I don’t think the rescue foundation realizes she’s keeping the cats.
She texted us tonight that she is depressed because today is XxxX (a memorable event).
I think that’s a good thing, because she’s acknowledging her feelings instead of looking for cats.
Of course I didn’t say that.
Yes lyn. Stray cats are not house trained.
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Post by moldman on Sept 2, 2022 12:09:20 GMT
I have had zero problems with rescued cats. All the ones that I have had take right to a litter box if you keep it clean, which I am anal about. My latest came here at 6 weeks old and used it immediately. Of course, I used a low sided container at first since he was only about 3-4 inches tall at the time. I only keep one or two cats though. I don't have a house full.
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Post by goblins on Sept 2, 2022 16:10:17 GMT
I have had zero problems with rescued cats. All the ones that I have had take right to a litter box if you keep it clean, which I am anal about. My latest came here at 6 weeks old and used it immediately. Of course, I used a low sided container at first since he was only about 3-4 inches tall at the time. I only keep one or two cats though. I don't have a house full. Maybe you should educate Sticky and friends on the workings of a litter box, MM. They appear to have no clue as to how they work. Do you suppose they think your house stinks like they accuse other cat owners? How can you be so rotten to some of us on your board and so congenial here? |
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Post by moldman on Sept 2, 2022 16:48:13 GMT
If I have been pleasant to you, let me assure you that it was completely unintentional.
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Post by goblins on Sept 2, 2022 17:36:24 GMT
If I have been pleasant to you, let me assure you that it was completely unintentional.  Au contraire, not to me! I accept the fact you are an asshole.
But you have made your dislike of Dawn well known. Called her a loon. Yet here you are...... I think you are seeking respite from the chaos on your board. You have to admit it's nice here. |
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Post by moldman on Sept 2, 2022 18:00:01 GMT
Is there a reason why you relish conflict? It's endless with you. Fuck off.
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Post by goblins on Sept 2, 2022 18:15:43 GMT
Is there a reason why you relish conflict? It's endless with you. Fuck off. It was a simple question. Requires a simple answer. No conflict needed. Your response was a little heavy handed, don't you think? |
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Post by moldman on Sept 2, 2022 18:19:38 GMT
Not even a little. You try turning everything into your own personal bitch session and yet another conflict. If you are that fucking miserable in your homelife, change it. WTF.
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Post by goblins on Sept 2, 2022 18:43:03 GMT
Not even a little. You try turning everything into your own personal bitch session and yet another conflict. If you are that fucking miserable in your homelife, change it. WTF. I am very happy and secure in my homelife. I just "do not suffer fools gladly." That be you, MM. |
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Post by dawn on Sept 2, 2022 18:56:36 GMT
And hopefully neither one of you has 11 cats!
🐈
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Post by moldman on Sept 2, 2022 19:04:36 GMT
I have one, not including the feral momma cat and the new litter that I haven't found yet.
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Post by poisonivyspen on Sept 2, 2022 23:49:14 GMT
Grief is such a personal thing to everyone going through it.
I guess as long as she's doing the right thing by the Cats it's all good and as you've said she's working with a rescue so if they've been desexed and vaccinated that's good but 11 cats yikes is a bit much I hope she's looking into rehoming them or part of that process I guess if that is how she's working through her grief then it's what works for her as I said it's personal to everyone.
Here if you have more than 3 the Council says you have to register as a breeder and have all the necessary things in place for them.
I hope you find the kittens Moldy, feral mumma likely has them hidden well.
The Cat that lives two doors up well the owners don't particularly care to much it roams all day and they haven't desexed it, hubby saw it the other morning when he left for work on the footpath being serviced by a large grey fluffy male cat, guess there will be kittens soon.
My girl hates that Cat, she screams at it if she sees it through the window. We adopted our girl after being her foster carers, she's a black and white Tuxedo.
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pepe
I'm so glad that we at this board are special, not like other boards. You are all wonderful.
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Post by pepe on Sept 3, 2022 0:29:51 GMT
we have stray cats fighting with the hairball through the screen door
irresponsible owners that won't keep their pets at home really annoys the hell out of me
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Post by figlet on Sept 3, 2022 0:42:53 GMT
All cats born from the 1st of July this year, where I live, have to be contained 24/7 to improve nature conservation. To protect wildlife (especially birds). Also to protect cats from being hit by cars etc, cat's being a nuisance. There was already cat containment laws for some suburbs.
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pepe
I'm so glad that we at this board are special, not like other boards. You are all wonderful.
Posts: 4,084
Interests: Small semi controlled explosions
Location: Ahhhh the serenity!!!
Current Mood: tickettyboo thank ya very much
Sex: ummmmaaarrrrr thats ruuude!
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Post by pepe on Sept 3, 2022 1:06:36 GMT
we have a 24/7 cat curfew here too but obviously sometimes the little buggers escape and there are owners that don't think rules apply to them
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Clarabelle
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Post by Clarabelle on Sept 3, 2022 1:54:27 GMT
Seems cat breeding season has started. There are so many feral cats slinking through the bush here and they are becoming more brazen. Usually only see them of a night but recently I have seen them during the day. Around here they are mostly black.
I spotted one the other night, near a dead sheep. It was HUGE. Really huge.
Maybe it was a yowie.
I wonder why ‘they’ can’t spread a feline specific disease through the feral population, like they do with rabbits.
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Post by poisonivyspen on Sept 3, 2022 2:08:59 GMT
Unfortunately it would likely spread all cats, I guess that's why they don't.
Same here with the 24/7 curfew yet some owners are either can't be ferked and let their furbabies roam night and day or yes some do escape.
This Cat two doors up is a roamer, wonder how they'll react to kittens.
She's taken a run and slam against the Security door when she's seen it too, was funny to watch in it's own way but she screams at it really really loudly. She has trust issues, it's a long story but she was with the same rescue as a kitten and adopted but at age 3 ended up in a round about way back with the rescue and came to us, she was adopted again but it only lasted a few days as apparently she liked fighting with their other Cat to much, so back to us she came and well we thought we'll just adopt her ourselves and she will have a safe home.
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Au contraire, not to me!
