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Post by flashie on Dec 5, 2018 10:29:31 GMT
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kayoneuu1
Posts: 4,170
Interests: golf; grandkids; travel; food; sauvignon blanc; pinot gris ......
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Post by kayoneuu1 on Dec 5, 2018 21:21:25 GMT
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Post by flashie on Dec 5, 2018 21:48:09 GMT
So true Kay............so true.
What is the best Christmas present on the world?
A broken drum......you just cant beat it.
What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?
Thanks............I'll never part with it.
What do you call a lobster who wont share his Christmas present?
Shell-fish
Why is a foot a great Christmas present?
It makes a great stocking filler.
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Post by flashie on Dec 6, 2018 23:52:10 GMT
What is a female elf called?
A shelf
Where do you find elves?
Depends where you left them
What do Santa's elves do after school?
Their gnomework
Who sings Blue Christmas and makes toy guitars?
Elfis
Why did Santa tell off one of his elves?
Because he was Goblin his dinner
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Post by flashie on Dec 6, 2018 23:53:00 GMT
This isn't Christmasie.......................but fun to watch.
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Post by avatarcat on Dec 7, 2018 0:29:09 GMT
My xmas decos are just the cheap standard ones from Kmart etc because - looking at three bengals - I can't have nice things.
The last time that both of my girls were living here at xmas - they were in their twenties - I left an almost empty glass of bourbon and a plate with fruitcake crumbs on the table. I awoke on xmas day to the sound of my loves laughing.
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kayoneuu1
Posts: 4,170
Interests: golf; grandkids; travel; food; sauvignon blanc; pinot gris ......
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Post by kayoneuu1 on Dec 7, 2018 22:10:08 GMT
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Post by flashie on Dec 8, 2018 5:51:24 GMT
Candy Cane Lane Christmas Lights.
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Post by flashie on Dec 8, 2018 5:54:10 GMT
This turkey tastes like an old settee.
Well you asked for something with plenty of stuffing
What do you drain you carrots with at Christmas?
And advent colander
We're having Grandma for Christmas dinner.
Really......we're having turkey.
What do you use to make a Christmas cake?
Elf-raising flour.
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Post by flashie on Dec 8, 2018 8:34:47 GMT
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Post by figlet on Dec 8, 2018 8:40:09 GMT
he he.. after a very hot day today.. having Christmas Day in winter looked pretty appealing. |
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kayoneuu1
Posts: 4,170
Interests: golf; grandkids; travel; food; sauvignon blanc; pinot gris ......
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Post by kayoneuu1 on Dec 8, 2018 11:11:50 GMT
he he.. after a very hot day today.. having Christmas Day in winter looked pretty appealing. mmmm I’m rethinking it too. We’re in Tuggers tonight and it’s bloody hot! Thank goodness for a/c |
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Post by rebelater on Dec 10, 2018 3:45:38 GMT
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deb
Keating recalling Morrison passing around coal in QT calls him "ä fossil in a baseball cap""
Posts: 6,181
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Post by deb on Dec 10, 2018 5:15:40 GMT
they're very nice Rebel
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deb
Keating recalling Morrison passing around coal in QT calls him "ä fossil in a baseball cap""
Posts: 6,181
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Post by deb on Dec 10, 2018 5:26:14 GMT
and bumping the Christmas thread for the lurkers  |
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Post by flashie on Dec 10, 2018 5:44:27 GMT
Who is never hungry at Christmas.
The turkey...........he is always stuffed
What did one angel say to the other angel
Halo there.
What does Santa do when his elves misbehave?
He gives them the sack
What has antlers, pulls Santa's sleigh and is made of cement?
I don't know....
A reindeer.
What about the cement?
I just threw that in there to make it hard.
What did the snowman's girlfriend give him when she was mad att him?
The cold shoulder
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joono
Posts: 5,480
Interests: Brussel sprouts, alfalfa sprouts, bean sprouts
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Post by joono on Dec 10, 2018 6:05:20 GMT
They are gorgeous Rebel. I love the egg. |
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pepe
I'm so glad that we at this board are special, not like other boards. You are all wonderful.
Posts: 4,200
Interests: Small semi controlled explosions
Location: Ahhhh the serenity!!!
Current Mood: tickettyboo thank ya very much
Sex: ummmmaaarrrrr thats ruuude!
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Post by pepe on Dec 10, 2018 6:08:12 GMT
Who does good King Wenceslas like his pizza? Deep pan, crisp and even |
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joono
Posts: 5,480
Interests: Brussel sprouts, alfalfa sprouts, bean sprouts
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Post by joono on Dec 10, 2018 6:23:16 GMT
I love that one  |
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Post by flashie on Dec 10, 2018 7:18:54 GMT
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Post by figlet on Dec 10, 2018 7:29:30 GMT
They are gorgeous Rebel. I love the egg. I picked the egg as my favourite too. A new source for Christmas decs. |
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Post by flashie on Dec 10, 2018 23:59:21 GMT
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Post by flashie on Dec 11, 2018 0:02:55 GMT
What do you call a man wearing trousers made of Christmas paper.
Russell
How many chimneys does Santa go down?
Stacks
What do you call a smelly Santa?
Farter Christmas
What did Santa say to Mrs Claus when he looked out he window?
Looks like rain, dear
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Post by flashie on Dec 11, 2018 23:35:07 GMT
Our eldest son still lives at home. He is particularly hard to buy for at Christmas. The only thing he is rather fussy about is his hair.............(which is way longer than mine) So we decided this year for his Christmas box to buy the expensive brand of shampoo and conditioner he uses. I bought one ever time it was on sale. Look most of the year................6 shampoos...........and 6 conditioners.................(these are 750ml bottles) Last night he says to me.............."Mum..............I ran out of my shampoo this week..........and I have been using yours.............I love it...............I might change my brand to the Dove one now." Really..........................he couldn't have decided that before I bought him litres and litres of the one he now doesn't want.............................  |
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Post by flashie on Dec 11, 2018 23:39:13 GMT
What is white, lives at the North Pole.........and runs around naked?
A polar bare.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps
Why are there no jokes about turkey giblets?
Because the punchlines are offal.
What is a parents favourite Christmas Carol?
Silent Night
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Post by pennybanger on Dec 12, 2018 4:13:24 GMT
Great jokes, Flashie keep 'em coming.  Rebel those decorations are just beautiful. I've made a note of the address for next year. |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2018 5:28:10 GMT
i'm sorry flashie, but your story about your son just cracked me up, lol!
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Post by figlet on Dec 12, 2018 9:22:49 GMT
Oh no flashie.. bit like kids and most of the year they want a particular toy for Christmas or birthday.. then they drop that idea and switch to a different toy close to the present giving day.
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Post by flashie on Dec 12, 2018 10:15:25 GMT
Well he is stuck with them for now.
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Post by prim on Dec 12, 2018 11:25:50 GMT
A man's Christmas tree
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