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Post by flashie on Nov 23, 2018 7:41:36 GMT
Come and tell us your funny jokes.
Funny pictures.
Christmas lolcats.
Funny Christmas story.
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Post by flashie on Nov 23, 2018 7:45:21 GMT
What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker
What says OH OH OH?
Santa walking backwards
What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?
Krisp Kringle
What does Santa do with fat elves?
He sends them to an elf farm
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joono
Posts: 5,480
Interests: Brussel sprouts, alfalfa sprouts, bean sprouts
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Post by joono on Nov 23, 2018 7:59:50 GMT
 @ Krisp Kringle
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Post by prim on Nov 23, 2018 9:15:11 GMT
I am taking in some 'orphans' this year. Some relatives who have family away and therefore no special lunch to attend. It will fill my table to capacity but I love being surrounded by family and friends so I am looking forward to it. Because there will be two teenagers, I went out and scouted a few more games to play. I expect I will have funny stories but it will be after Christmas.
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Post by flashie on Nov 23, 2018 9:28:50 GMT
I have stolen Deb fathers idea. I have got a secret present that they have to guess what it is. It is driving them crazy already...........and there is another month to go. Prim.........we always end up with a few extra at Christmas. One of our sons friends has come around Christmas afternoon every year since they were in high school together.....(he also turns up for Wednesday teas.....and haircuts....  ) He loves the water bomb fight. Our youngest son was in charge of buying them this year. He bought them on line and had them delivered here yesterday. I think he went a little bit crazy.............1200 water bombs...........  |
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Post by prim on Nov 23, 2018 9:50:46 GMT
That is going to be some war LOL LOL LOL
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Post by prim on Nov 23, 2018 9:53:29 GMT
How do you choose a present that would be suitable for anyone. That sounds like hard work :)
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Post by flashie on Nov 23, 2018 10:00:29 GMT
How do you choose a present that would be suitable for anyone. That sounds like hard work :) I couldn't................so I picked a prize. I think the trouble I am going to have it the little ones will treat it like pass the parcel and try and unwrap it. 2018 maybe the only year we do it..............  |
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Clarabelle
Posts: 1,019 
Interests: grass, buttercups, grass
Location: in the top paddock
Current Mood: Mooooody
Sex: Once a year
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Post by Clarabelle on Nov 23, 2018 10:08:11 GMT
How do you choose a present that would be suitable for anyone. That sounds like hard work :) water pistol or fly swat  |
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Post by figlet on Nov 23, 2018 11:26:16 GMT
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Post by prim on Nov 23, 2018 12:08:03 GMT
Yep Clara, they would work :)
DD has always loved real Christmas trees and has always decorated it to the nth degree. Now she has cats and has to catproof her Christmas tree. I don't have a photo but imagine a plastic tree with its branches wrapped close to the trunk by a string of fairy lights being wound around many times, no baubles, no trimmings of any sort. They did leave it alone.
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Post by flashie on Nov 23, 2018 21:55:51 GMT
What did the farmer get for Christmas?
A cow-culator
What did the dog get for Chrismas?
A mobile bone
Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws
What do wizards use to wrap their Christmas presents?
Spell-o-tape
Why did Scrooge buy everyone birds for Christmas?
Because they were going cheap
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joono
Posts: 5,480
Interests: Brussel sprouts, alfalfa sprouts, bean sprouts
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Post by joono on Nov 23, 2018 23:16:29 GMT
A little music for you.
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Post by pennybanger on Nov 23, 2018 23:57:46 GMT
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Post by prim on Nov 24, 2018 0:43:12 GMT
Penny, I just sent that to my DD and GD as they are wont to do that LOL
Thanks Joono, great timing. I am sitting here writing my Christmas cards. It feels very Christmassy in my study right now :)
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Post by pennybanger on Nov 24, 2018 3:43:57 GMT
It's my all-time favourite lolcat.  |
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kayoneuu1
Posts: 4,170
Interests: golf; grandkids; travel; food; sauvignon blanc; pinot gris ......
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Post by kayoneuu1 on Nov 24, 2018 4:12:01 GMT
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joono
Posts: 5,480
Interests: Brussel sprouts, alfalfa sprouts, bean sprouts
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Post by joono on Nov 24, 2018 9:17:33 GMT
Here is something I didn't know before. Everyone has a pavlova for Christmas don't they. I just had Tony Robinson's Time Walks on as background and he mentioned Anna Pavlova but he was saying it with a different pronunciation than I am used to. He went on to say that in NZ they say Pavlova the Russian way but in Australia we've put the Aussie twang on it. Russian way it sounds like Pav-lah-vah with the emphasis on Pav In Australia we say Pav-low-va with the emphasis on low. I'm going to get all posh this Christmas and say it the Russian way whenever I get the opportunity Here it is - www.rightpronunciation.com/languages/russian/anna-pavlova-31184.asp?id1=19&page=47#Okay, don't tell me everyone already knew that  |
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Post by prim on Nov 24, 2018 9:24:22 GMT
I didn't know that Joono, however my lot are so fussy, if I said we were having PAV - lah - vah, they would probably think I am tricking them and serving up something weird, screw up their noses and not try it !
PS, we don't have pavlova as I make lemon meringue pie. However, as I have a few more at the table this year, I might make Eton mess for those who don't like LMP
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kayoneuu1
Posts: 4,170
Interests: golf; grandkids; travel; food; sauvignon blanc; pinot gris ......
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Post by kayoneuu1 on Nov 24, 2018 19:47:21 GMT
I don’t know where he got that idea joono. I’ve never heard it pronounced any differently than it is said here. Mostly though it’s just called a pav.
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Post by flashie on Nov 24, 2018 23:10:51 GMT
How long should an elves legs be?
Just long enough to reach the ground
If athletes get Athlete's foot, what do elves get?
Mistle-toes
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten!.....One to change the light bulb.......ad nine to stand on each others shoulders
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joono
Posts: 5,480
Interests: Brussel sprouts, alfalfa sprouts, bean sprouts
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Post by joono on Nov 25, 2018 0:56:25 GMT
All good ones Flashie. I should have asked you Kaye. I'm still going to give it a shot at Chrissy |
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Post by figlet on Nov 25, 2018 1:24:14 GMT
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Post by figlet on Nov 25, 2018 3:39:27 GMT
Daughter # 1 brought me this Christmas tree bauble back from the Liberty shop in London this year.  |
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joono
Posts: 5,480
Interests: Brussel sprouts, alfalfa sprouts, bean sprouts
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Post by joono on Nov 25, 2018 4:03:51 GMT
Gorgeous Fig. I bought a couple from the Pottery Barn recently. I'll take a pic when I bring them out to put on the tree. They are so cute. I was also given the 2018 Swarovski star ornament this year. A birthday prezzie from my sisters. I'm looking forward to putting the tree up this year.
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Post by figlet on Nov 25, 2018 4:35:19 GMT
I found most of the Christmas decs in Myer unispiring this year (not much other than tree decs) and DJ's didn't go all out either.. although I did get a bird one there (broke one of mine bought a few years ago) and another glass one with gold on it.
Look forward to seeing your new ones.
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Post by prim on Nov 25, 2018 9:42:29 GMT
Lovely Fig. I like 'ornate' for Christmas.
99% of my ornaments I have had for more than 55 years. I keep them and use them every year because they were hung on our tree by both my daughters when they were young and one has passed away. When I put the Santa sitting on a flying swan (with white feather wings which float up and down in a breeze) I think of her as she was mesmerised by it as a child.
Joono I have seen that star, it is beautiful but very expensive!!! You have very generous sisters.
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kayoneuu1
Posts: 4,170
Interests: golf; grandkids; travel; food; sauvignon blanc; pinot gris ......
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Post by kayoneuu1 on Nov 25, 2018 21:50:34 GMT
That’s lovely figlet. I try to buy a new “special” ornament each year. I have a good collection now that hopefully someone will treasure and inherit one day.
We’re going to our son and DiLs this year so I’ll only put up the little table top tree. It’s okay but not as nice as the big one.
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Post by flashie on Nov 25, 2018 22:48:42 GMT
What do reindeers hand on their Christmas trees?
Horn-aments
Did Rudolph go to school?
No. He was elf-taught
Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on ebay?
Because they were two deer.
How do you get into Rudolph's house?
You ring the deer bell
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Post by prim on Nov 25, 2018 23:39:40 GMT
Keep them coming Flashie :) :)
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@ Krisp Kringle
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